In an economic climate where recent college graduates are more likely to end up living with their parents than living out their dreams (at least I hope I’m not the only one), we’ve got to make money any way we can. If you regularly visit a workout facility—you know, in between your part-time shifts at Orange Julius—just pick one of these ideas, put it into practice, and you’ll be showing Mom and Dad the tail end of a U-Haul in no time.
1.) You know the windshield cleaner guy who hangs out in the parking lots of major shopping and/or sports venues—the one who seems to appear out of nowhere to wipe down your car windows the moment you take the keys out of the ignition? Well, that dude has to be making some serious cash. How do I know this? Because he keeps showing up, and you keep giving him a dollar just to get him to go away. Now, imagine what could happen if you applied the same business model in a gym setting. All you would have to do is stand off to the side, rag and cleaning solution at the ready, and jump unsuspecting gym patrons the moment they step off of their machines. As they stand there, panting and dumbfounded, quickly clean the equipment and then turn to face them with an expectant look on your face. If they’re still not getting it, form your palm into the shape of a tiny cup and hold it out in front of you. Unsure of how else to extricate themselves from this uncomfortable situation, the still-surprised gym user will ultimately reach into their pocket to fish out a dollar bill, which they will slowly place into your handmade (ha ha) tip jar. Cha-ching.
2.) If you’ve ever been to Disneyland, memories of your magical tour through the Happiest Place on Earth probably include long lines, sweltering heat, and disgustingly overpriced food and beverages. You sweated to death for 55 minutes so you could ride the Indiana Jones Adventure, but you barely remember your wild trip through the cavernous bowels of the lost temple. What you do remember is purchasing a six-dollar bottle of water from the vendor conveniently placed just a few staggering steps from the exit. The price seems outrageous now, but when you were on the brink of heat stroke, you thought it was fairly reasonable. Think about it: fitness facilities are full of people who are overheated, tired and dehydrated. Do you think that sweat-drenched guy who just stepped off the corner treadmill would turn down the chance to purchase an ice-cold bottle of pure, quality H2O? Not a chance. Is he going to care about the price? Not if you catch him before the post-workout mind fog wears off and normal brain activity resumes. Are you feeling rich yet?
3.) People with stressful jobs and personal lives often use exercise as a form of emotional therapy when their shrink is unavailable, on vacation, or just ignoring their calls. They head to the gym hoping to clear their minds with vigorous exercise, but what they really need is a chance to unload their psychological baggage on an empathetic stranger. You can be that stranger—for a small fee, of course. Look for solo exercisers who appear emotionally unstable and are muttering things like, “Corporate reorganization? I’ll show him corporate reorganization!” Offer to spot them on the bench press and feign interest in their work/family/relationship troubles. As they pour out their heart to you, nod your head, furrow your brow, and throw in the occasional “How does that make you feel?” At some point during the session, casually mention your $30 per-hour rate. Soon, they’ll be seeing less red, and you’ll be seeing more green.
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